Our guest writer this month, Lisa Preuett, is a mom who understands life’s hard. She knows what it’s like to be a single mom, a mom of a prodigal, but most importantly she is a mom who has lived to trust and see God’s redemption. She is a mom who has learned to live by faith—not fear! When fear knocks at her door, she has learned to let her faith in Jesus Christ answer! How many of you are looking fear in the face as a mom right now? During Valentine’s season, may “God’s perfect love cast out all your fear,” as you read His truths in this month’s Heart of Womanhood Blog!
When my baby girl entered our world, multiple emotions flooded my momma heart. Overflowing joy, pure thankfulness and exciting anticipation. But in those early days another emotion reared its ugly head. It’s the emotion I think ALL moms struggle with the most:
FEAR
What if I can’t get her to stop crying? What if she doesn’t get enough milk? What if she gets really sick?
And then with the next seasons of my daughter’s life came different concerns, but the underlying emotion of fear often threatened to take me down. Should we send her to public school, private school or homeschool? What if we pick the wrong option? Will she be safe when she’s away from us?
And as we navigated the middle school and teen years, more intense fears knocked on the door of my fragile heart. How will she navigate a world that is so hostile, unforgiving and dangerous? What if something tragic happens to her?
When she successfully navigated the milestones of driving her own car and working a job, my fears began to calm somewhat.
But then she walked out the door for college. Whew! New fears began to swirl in my mind. Will she choose to walk firmly in her faith? How will she handle challenges and disappointments?
The fears I’ve described are natural for all moms. But along the way, I’ve had to determine how I was going to deal with these fears when they popped up unexpectedly.
As a follower of Jesus for most of my life, I had acquired a lot of knowledge about God. I had memorized multiple scriptures. I participated in numerous Bible studies. But those things alone could not give me peace and extinguish my momma fears.
- I had to humbly surrender my fears to the Lord. I had to choose to TRUST HIM!
- I had to beware of trying to control things that were not mine to fix and trust that God was in control.
- I had to replace anxious thoughts with the truth and peace of God.
Throughout scripture, the word fear is used a lot! But the majority of those are used in reference to how we should fear God. Not the kind of fear where we are afraid someone or something is going to harm us. But it’s a humble, reverent awe of who God is and what He has done! When we rightly fear God and see ourselves through His lens, then all other fears should decrease in light of that truth.
Psalm 111:10 says it so powerfully:
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding. To Him belongs eternal praise.”
As moms, we desperately crave wisdom in raising our children. We often run after other books to gain this kind of wisdom, desperately searching for a list of things to do that will result in a well- balanced child. Yes, there are numerous Christian resources available to help us in this parenting journey. But If we’re not seeking God in His word as our first priority, we will get way off track.
Psalm 23:4 reminds us of what not to fear:
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Some seasons of parenting feel like we’re just not going to make it!
Because we live in a fallen world still dominated by sin, we fear evil on many levels: physical sickness, mental challenges, learning disabilities, social anxiety, and so much more. And frequently the evil we fear is not just outside of us, but within us. We battle against our own sin, our children’s sin, our spouse’s sin. But no matter what the evil is and no matter how much grief or loss we feel, we are told to not fear! We are promised God is with us. His comfort comes through knowing His character and His Word.
One of my favorite passages that speaks to fear is found in Psalm 46:1-2
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever- present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the sea.”
The earth giving way refers to catastrophic disasters such as earthquakes or landslides, causing the earth itself in becoming unstable. Can we imagine how devastated we’d feel to watch mountains literally fall into the sea? Yet God uses this analogy to demonstrate just how much we can rest in Him as our comfort and strength. So as moms we might just have to fill in the blank of what our worst fears may be when it comes to our children.
Even if……….????
…God is still in control and can be trusted!
And the apostle John writes to believers in 1 John 4:18a:
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
Our human love is not perfect. Often it is selfish and stubborn. We could all list our parenting failures and get drowned in self-defeat. (My list would be quite long!)
But God’s love IS perfect! If we have surrendered our lives to Jesus and realize we have a lifelong journey of confession and repentance, then we are able to cling to Him. His perfect love that dwells within us will give us truth and grace to surrender our children to Him. And instead of crippling fear, we can experience genuine peace.
Fear not, Momma!
Heart of Womanhood Bible Studies are designed to increase the faith of both you and your daughter as you study God’s Word together! So, check out our resources at http://heartofwomanhood.org and begin falling more in love with God and His Word with your daughter(s) this Valentine’s season!